10 June; Mess Duties

"Even if I do remember them bein' two.. .I can't say they was. Or that I was carried. I mus' lie. 'Couse if I don't t' others will do me in while I'm still a Jack Tar." He looked at Terry with a heavy sigh. "...I'd like ter see 'em hang. But If I so much as nod in their direction an' they get danglin'....I may kiss me thoughts o' living ter old age good bye. Or even ter livin' till me next birthday."

He placed a hand on Button's shoulder. "...an' if you tell... then they'll be out for your blood as well."

"Why?" He looked frankly at de Guarde. "'Cause nobody likes folks who do fings like that. They mightn't like what 'appens in the end, but ain't nobody agrees wiv what they done. 'Cause it was, well, they was tryin' to murder you."

"True, but they have friends. And friends care more 'bout their friends than about some former middie who they think is better of dead anyway. So.. if their friend's killed because of said middie or some boy." He motioned with his hand.

"They'll be very unhappy and eager to make the guilty party pay for their transgression." In truth, this was all that he had been told was so and had proof at how serious it could get although the promise was for worse even. He believed it.

"I don't fink anyone really likes Seward. 'E's allus grumpy an' shoves folks around. Don't reckon 'e'll be much missed."

But really, was life going to be better if he did tell the Captain, or if he didn't?

"You'm forgetting there were two. An'... if that other one could'a liked Seward enough ter do it,.. that must mean that there's someone else..possibly, who we equally don't believe could be their friend, but is. And... then, if yer think of it.. we don't know who t' second one is.. we know even less who else could be supportive of them, even if not having actually done anything."

He hesitated. "...I know o' atleast one more... so there's three... and mebbe four, or more, that like these lot. An' t' more there are... t' more of them have other friends who can be swayed." Somehow, talking about it with Button, made his thoughts more organised, though solution was still far from clear.

"No, I ain't fergettin' that at all. But I don't reckon that anyone else aboard would agree wiv murder like that." Whatever else he knew about life at sea, Terry was quite sure that the natural justice of the lower deck would not tolerate seamen doing something like that to someone so newly arrived. "Reckon that tellin' the Captain at least'll tell 'im who 'e needs to put in irons for it, an' the others'll not be so keen for folks to know about 'em."

"..They would not agree with it, mebbe. But they'd do nothin' 'bout it either." He tapped his fingers against the wood. "You got any proof of wot' happened? Couse.. they'll claim you was dreamin' jus' as I....and..jus' " If he was called to testify whether he was thrown or climbed out there himself, he knew he could not point a finger at anyone.

"Button. Look,..." He paused and then decided to show him, what he had shown Thompson. "This is wot' happens..jus' when they want ter warn you." His shirt was up revealing the bruises below, and though it was dark, the fact that his skin was not as easily seen in it, was enough of a contrast - also against the shirt - to show what there was to be seen.

"But I swear if you tell anyone 'bout this.. I'll thump you worse." He threatened quietly.

The Captain hadn't asked if he had any proof -whatever that was - so he shrugged. His eyes widened as de Guarde pulled up his shirt. "If they bin doin' that t'ye, they can't be 'llowed to get away with it. Ain't right - anyone'd say that."

He hugged his knees a little closer. "Reckon if you keep away from 'em, an' don't give anyone any reason to make 'em fink you knows summat, they'll get 'emselves in trouble sooner nor later. Give 'em enough rope to 'ang 'emselves wiv, I fink some o' the men'd call it."

"Let them hang themselves then..I don' want no part with it." He really did just want to disappear. If not from the ship than it was from their minds. The bruises that he again concealed were a good motivation for such a decision.

"May I use this place as well if I...er.. want ter think or hide?" He asked timidly, gazing at the other boy. "From t' adults an' them Tars, I mean. You obviously know of it, so it's not e'zactly hidin' from you." He smiled faintly.

".. An' promise me here an' now you won't go lookin' for trouble with them, or tell anyone of wot' you saw me show you. Promise me on yer life n' wot'ever you hold dear. .. please." He whispered then.

Terry nodded. "'Course you can. 'S why I showed it you. You's like us, see, need to keep outta the way sometimes. You's small 'nough to fit an' all." He leaned back against the barrel behind him, a huge water leaguer. "'Course I ain't goin' to tell. Well... not 'nless it's a officer askin' me, an' then I don't fink I could not say anyfin'. But I won't uvverwise, promise."

He gave a small, hopeless sigh. "Wish I could 'elp, prop'ly."

"Say you dun' know if an officer asks ye. " Though, how an officer would come to ask such a thing without knowing, was anybody's guess. He reached out to rest his hand on Button's shoulder.

His smile was faint, but honest. "....Terry. Yer think you's not helpin' but..... lettin' me come 'ere, is helpin'." He hesitated, unsure whether he could voice it proper. The want to jump was becoming weaker. He could not tell that to Terry, although, he guessed, it could also just be a momentary lapse of courage to do that.

"...Is not bringin' noone ter justice but, wot I learned now, down 'ere is,..justice ain't got often ter be able ter come an' help." He smiled faintly. "...so. It's fine." It would have been more fine if he could get drunk nicely. "Thanks."

"Izzit?" he asked, peering at the other boy in the gloom. "You sure it is? 'Cause, well, it don't seem like it's 'elpin'." It wasn't as though he'd really done anything, either, just brought him down here, where pretty much all the boys knew at least one secret hidey-hole. "You gonna be all right now?"

"I've got another place ter go to." And he had postponed the want to see the sea up close. "...Jus'.. you still keep 'way when he's watchin'..'couse I've been told not ter bother you. Alright?" He asked timidly. "But just when... when they can see it."

He sighed and shrugged. "I think I will be... a bit. I still don't know. I wish t' officers had done something weeks back. ..but since it won't happen... Button, do you think I'd make a fair Tar, when I'm grown up?" He did not think he'd be promoted to more than that, and he'd thought his parents would have forgotten him by then. "If we live ter it...you n' I.. N' Thompson. Of course, he'll be a marine. Mebbe even higher promoted since!"

"If I don't mind you talkin' to me, why on earf should 'e mind?" Terry asked, reasonably enough. He shrugged. "Reckon you could make a decent 'nuff Tar. You... you don't skive off, an' you seem t'me to be int'rested in learnin' ev'ryfing." He pulled his knees a bit closer. "Dunno 'bout Thompson - I don't have nuffing t'do wiv the M'rines... an' 'e's a Corp'ral now an' all, so 'e won't want nuffin' t'do wiv me, any'ow. I jus' stay outta the way of folks like 'im."

"He wouldn't mind you, even if him's a corporal. See. If you don't cause trouble for him to report. He really wouldn't mind talking to you are having you come 'long when I do. I think. I'm teachin' him you know. Could teach you too sometime, if you want." He shrugged. Accepting it would make it all better in the end. Just fully accepting his position and that it would not change.

" He's a friendly sort. Don't mind me being a Tar and not a marine. That good sort. Most marines are, even if we's suppose to worry about them couse they stop us from getting into things we ain't suppose to!"

"Teachin' 'im what?" Terry wanted to know. He couldn't see how there could be anything that Corporal Thompson didn't know. "They look too smart an'... an' scary t'me," he added, idly tracing a finger over the decking he was sitting on.

"Writin'. I can write letters and I can read. That's useful. You can save yerself from boredom by readin'.. and yer can write to your folk or.. friends and keep in touch that way." He chuckled. "Ah.. marines aren't no smarter than us here. They're jus' big sometimes or look at you sternly because that's what they are meant to do. It's to keep us in check so we don't run wild....or not more wild than us boys do." He looked sheepishly at Button. "They are our protectors too. From other Tars. Because no one of them will dare do summat if you hide behind a marine!" Which he had not tried before, but he guessed that hiding behind Thompson would deter any other Tar wanting to do him in.

Terry shrugged one thin shoulder. "Ain't got no-one to write no letters to, me," he said, matter-of-factly. "'S all right fer you, though. I ain't got nuffin' to offer no-one, any'ow." He tried to imagine a Marine allowing him to hide behind him, and failed.

"I wouldn't want yer ter pay me. .Not with things. An' if you really want t'.. just could consider it a favour. Like wot'...well you could write to your friends here if we ever part or when you's older and got a girl, you could write to her. Or .. we could communicate without them old hands gettin' a whiff of it, couse we'd write and they'd not know what it wos'." He smiled and shrugged. "An' you wouldn't be cheated.. was you going to get money and they'd tell you you got less than you really do." He did not know why he was offering or even trying to tell Button any of that was useful, but he was.

" Is there many other spots like this that noone but you or t' boys know?" He indicated the little hiding place in which they were now.

Him, Terry Button, get a girl? Who wanted to have anything to do with girls anyway? Terry had hardly ever even seen a girl - there had been a very strict separation of boys and girls at the Foundling Home, and of course there weren't any girls at the Marine Society.

He grinned. "There's enough. Most them's down 'ere in the 'old, see. Allus changes when they gets new stores in down here, or move fings around." He shrugged. "Worf 'aving a look yourself, see if you can find places o' your own after they got new stores in, or if they 'ave a shift around of fings."

"Think I will." His smile broadened. "Somewhere where the rats won't try ter munch on me. Like last time." He made a face. "That was....disgusting. one thought to have a right bite outta me." He hesitated and looked at Button. "Does all of them boys come down 'ere to... hide sometimes or is it jus' some?" He could just imagine it. Suddenly the whole ship being empty of boys because all had gone and decided to hide and then the hold as cluttered with younglings as if it was a foundling home!

"When'd a rat try t'eat you?" Terry wanted to know. If Buckles had been down to the hold before, he didn't know of it. "Dunno. If a boy wants to 'ide, stands to reason 'e ain't goin' to tell folks 'e is, don't it? Though som of 'em might know uvver places to 'ide. Don't reckon none of 'em's so... easy to 'ide in, if you knows what I mean, though."

" A while... a while ago. Been down here. I wasn't hiding like this, 'couse I didn't know o' this. But I was down here and I think I dozed off. When I woke there she...or was it a he.. was. Bitin' at me...where I got flogged and it was still injured bad."

He nodded, thinking about it."Why don't t' adults go 'ere though... to see. I mean. Didn' they hide in places like these when they was our age? Or are they all jus'.. old hands who's never been young on a ship?" He did not know much of the world of the Tars , other than what he had now learned and what little he had known or been told before. And the latter, was very much wrong, as he now learned.

"Well, don't go dozin' off then, silly," Terry said, pointing out the obvious. "There's loadsa rats down 'ere, see. Don't wanna get bit or... or worse." He gave another shrug. "Dunno. Don't reckon they need to get away like you an' me does. An' they ain't likely to fit in places like this here, any'ow, are they? Much too big, they is."

He idly scratched at his bare shin. "S'pose some of 'em was boys like me, to start wiv. Don't reckon they all was, though. The S'sity don't send all that many boys out, not reelly, not 'nuff to end up bein' able to crew a 'ole ship wiv."

"What's worse than getting bit?" He watched Button thoughtfully. "What's it like in this foundling home. Is it a good life? Do they feed you good food? Why's you gone for a navy lad?" He scratched his head.

"Um,.. tell me if it's something too private .. I'm asking. .." He lifted his gaze. "....think t' weather's not going to be all nice for long..do ye smell it? Outside I mean!"