24th May, Morning - Deck

He shook his head. "Jus'.. don't tell. " He murmured and then he lifted his hand slowly. With one hand he still held onto Thompson's fingers, but the other squirmed from under it and slowly held that pouch up. It rattled a little, with the sound of coin.

"... take this." He added and held it to Thompson.

"What...?" he said, frowning, and reached for it with his free hand. "What's that for, Mathew?" he asked, fumbling it open.

"I.. don't want it." He pulled his empty hand back to his lap and lay it there, curling it up. He was tempted to start tugging at his sleeve again, but , atleast for the moment, was able to refrain from doing it.

"...it's... A.. there was sum'time.. when I wos' drinkin'... n' ..we already had t' master-at-arms.. n'.. I wos' hidden... or thought i was.. n'..he found me. He wanted .." His voice was a mere whisper. Quiet, barely enough that the marine could even hear it. "..he wanted me ter be his rat....I didn't want to.. I don't. I swear I didn't tell 'im anything that could be o' harm ter anyone on Terpsy...but..i don't want this.. " He looked away. "He could've reported me then.. but he struck a deal..'stead. See...."

"He wanted...?" Thompson had to lean very close to hear what the boy was saying. "Could've reported you for what? You ain't done anythin' to get reported for, lad."

'Struck a deal' didn't sound too good, either. He closed his hand thoughtfully round the bag he was holding.

"...He could report me fer bein' real drunk, that he could.. say I struck him n' everybody'd believe him." He frowned. "..I'um.. I'um not tellin' him anything though. A'right? " He hesitated. There was something much worse. Much, much worse. Though he did it defending himself, that would not stand in no court.

"....is.. there's another thing.. too."

One of that sort, was he? They'd have to sort that out before he got anybody into serious trouble. But... "More? What sort of more d'you mean?" He sounded like a real proper bilge rat, this master-at-arms. They'd have to be real careful around him, and that prospect wasn't a pleasant one, not on a ship like Terpsy.

".Ye know.. after we returned, ..n' we was well.. a while on t' ship." He was fortunate nobody had seen or recognised him. Even now, he thought it was much thanks to the men, turning a blind eye.

"..." He lowered his gaze. "....George.. I'um afraid o' 'im. I dunno why.. jus' I am. N' I think.... I think that.." He frowned. "...Wot' I did.. could've had me hang but he brushed it off. N'.. I know there mus' be a price fer summat like that. " He touched his lips remembering the hand to firmly pressed against them. He shook his head then and squeezed the hand he was holding. "...he was jus' askin' t' questions again.. but .. but I mus' be givin' ill credit.. ter him. I would be smarter were I quiet!"

"Mathew, what happened?" Thompson asked, suddenly very concerned. "Tell, me, an' I might be able to think of a way to help, see. An'... what d'you want me to do with this here, then?" he asked, lifting the hand holding the pouch, just enough so that de Guarde could see what it was he was referring to. "Whatever happened, it'll be worse if you don't tell. 'Cause it's always worse in your head if you don't, see, 'cause you'll think up all sorts of horrible things and scare yerself silly."

"No.. no we can't do anything. We can't." He shook his head twice and breathed in sharply. He knew that the secret was till that moment shared only between him and the master, but if he were to tell, then Thompson would know. Perhaps the marine would have to testify and then he couldn't lie. He knew it was a bad decision, that he would tell anything to the marine, with that knowledge in mind. But he was a mere lad. He valued comfort, the feeling of safety that the marine gave him, no matter what he would say, over the fact he could as well have been signing his death contract.

"I bit 'im." He looked up. "...'e wasn't lettin' me go n' 'e covered me mouth 'couse I wanted.. .i wanted to yell, so I bit 'im." He made no excuse about it. He couldn't say that he was scared, couldn't add that he reacted so for a fairly good, different reason. That he even wanted to yell for something of the sort. "But.. he found it amusin'.." And he was able to live, because the master took no offense. He couldn't say why he reacted so, couldn't say why he felt so scared. No, even with all the courage that he so far gathered, that was something he could neither accuse, nor want to say. After all, it was just in his head, wasn't it?

"You.. you keep it, or spend it or do wot' you want with it. Is ..is'um me, who mustnt'. Couse if I would..then , then I'd be a rat. I'll pay yer fer that drink, but with other money.. or with me ration. This'un.. this yer found so..so.. it pays nothin'."

"Sshh, Mathew, don't worry so much," the Marine said soothingly, though it was unexpected news. What was the master-at-arms doing, sneaking around and trying to get people to rat on their mates for him?

"I'd've prob'ly done the same," Thompson said, though admitting that didn't help anything. De Guarde hadn't really said why the master-at-arms had scared him so much, though, and Thompson wondered if he would. "Why... Mathew, did he say why he wanted you to rat on folks? What sort of things he wanted to know?"

If only the marine knew how greatly his words had soothed the boy. To know that he wasn't so weak, but that he'd dome something that even the marine would do the same. It was unexpected perhaps, that from one who had wanted to get the marine in trouble and one who had spoken so poorly of them, he became the lad who eagerly listened and respected a word spoken by George.

Saying that he'd probably have done the same, it felt as the boy could breathe more easy, as if his chest was no longer pressed down by a boulder of worry. Not one atleast, as big as it had been before.

"jus'.. I think, that he wanted ter know. I dunno. But I guess he... well if he knew wot' other people were in trouble for or wot' their weaknesses were he could exploit them. I know that sort of thinking." Because he'd once thought the same perhaps?" If.. that'um is why. ..he wanted to know anythin' bad.. if ye'd have talked summat against the captain, or if you'd have complained. He.." He remembered it too. "He mentioned corporal Johnson too.." For whom no tear would've been spared, atleast not from De Guarde.

"..he said.. 'e should be watched.. ter see if 'e'd be up ter summat."

"He'll have some waitin' for Corp'ral Johnson to get up to anythin' 'gainst ol' Terpsy," Thompson said. "He might have a temper on him like a bull with toothache an' a tongue you don't never want to get the rough side of, but he ain't never done anythin' 'gainst no officer that I know of."

It was a worrying development, though, if the new master-at-arms was sneaking around trying to find folks' bad sides. He wondered what he could do about it.

"Mathew, don't go gettin' yourself in any more trouble, an' don't go puttin' yourself where he's goin' to find you by yourself, if you can help it. Stick with bein' 'round folks, an' he won't be able to do anythin'. An' if he does, you just tell me soon's you can, all right?"

"George.. you know as well as I, that ye needn't exactly go n' do summat against an officer, that an officer can accuse you of doing it." He hesitated a moment. "Wot' I um saying is.. ..he did say that Johnson sounded unsatisfied. He could read lots into it."

He listened to the advice given and was glad that he could say he'd done something of the sort already. He'd tried staying out of the man's way. He'd tried his best to be in company whenever he saw him, even of those he didn't really talk much to. Twice he'd made the mistake of failing at that. Once was just hours ago, after they returned, and the first time he could not be blamed for it really! He didn't know what the master at arms was like then.

"Tell you?" He looked at the marine. "...I think... I think I'll have summat to do, to stay out o' his way.. least a part o' it." He thought of Oxley. When he'd have to be holy stoning next, they were going to have quiet lessons, if not for the time they were free. "But... I want yer to be careful too. Don't tell anyone wot' I told you but if yer can..somehow, warn others. Only those yer trust though. I dun' think I'um the only one he'll try to use...he's using. So.. so is better you are real careful!" He looked at him in earnest, worry for his friend as clear on his face as the specks of freckles.

"Don't.. want ter see you in trouble, no trouble, George. N'.. I'll tell you, I will." He wasn't even aware what a promise he was giving. What if there was something he did not want to tell, or something that would endanger the marine and thus he'd rather have been quiet about. He was surprised to find himself actually worried for another person and willing even to do something all against his own benefit, if it meant good for the other man.

"I know that, Mathew," Thompson said. "Don't mean there ain't anythin' we can do. We just got to be careful. Ain't like the captain can't disrate him, neither, him bein' a petty officer, not a warrant. But we'll be real careful, Mathew. I don't want to go gettin' in trouble, neither."

He could see the worry on de Guarde's face, and it touched him. "I'll be all right. An' I think I can take bein' in trouble better'n you can, right now, lad. Of it comes to that, which it won't. Honest."

"The captain can disrate him, true... 's only that he won't. Not on my word. He'd say I thought summat up, because I disliked him n' then wot' would happen? He'd be sour, n' upset 'couse he'd know we've reported 'im. And because he'd won he'd be lookin' fer us every step we'd make. Every little inch of a step! Just ter see us step the wrong way, n' then it'd be hell."

His hand squeezed the fingers he held onto. "jus' be careful . I know you's stronger than me, n' wiser. You proved that more than once, but.. you's a private, n' me .. I'm a Tar that nobody trusts, well none o' t' officers. So.. wot' I mean.. be extra careful 'round him. Don't say a word, yer don't think about first. Just don't.. though I know you'll know. N' he might be all kind... is why I'm confused.. because suddenly he's so kind, n' so worried, n' so caring.. but then.."He sighed. "...I just don't know. "

"It's one of the things I said to you way back, Mathew," Thompson said, squeezing de Guarde's hand back. "The lower deck's got its own way o' sortin' out problems an' things that the officers don't know 'bout, without gettin' them involved, see."

He leaned back, looking up into the rigging that towered above them. "Seems to me, lad, form what you've bin sayin', that he just puts on an act to get what he wants. Acts all nice an' friendly, like, to make folks slip up an' then pounces like Miss Emily does on a rat she's bin stalkin'. An' you know it ain't real friendliness, 'cause you know what that looks like, now, 'cause you know me an' Cob Chase an' other folks here."

"..I guess I do. Well it feels unnatural.. wrong. I know no master-at-arms would just go walkin' ter ye like that.. but more... it's his eyes, at one time.. I swear they felt like he were a demon!" He frowned at that and glanced over his shoulder. The man wasn't there and the rest of tars seemed to mind their business, whichever that was.

No lieutenant in sight, to bother or such either. "I like Miss Emily over 'im any time, you know." He tried a faint smile. " But.. wot' can we do, below decks. Wot'?" He then thought on Thompson's first words. He knew that below decks things could be sorted. He had Chase warn him once, when he was being a brat. It was thanks to that man and the respect that the other seamen had, that he wasn't punched right in.

"He's not one of us!"

"Aye, a man's eyes can tell you a lot about him an' what he's really like," Thompson said. "I can't tell you, lad, how we might sort him out, 'cause it might end up workin' out diff'rent, an' we ain't done anythin' yet. An' if I say anythin', you might give it away by accident, even if you don't mean to. But we'll do summat about it, somehow. 'Cause you'm right, he ain't one of us."

He grinned, and looked down at the boy. "But you are, ain't you? Am I lookin' at the newest Terpsy right here?" he asked, amused. "An' can I have me hand back? I ain't finished doin' me musket yet, see."

Newest Terpsy. He hadn't even realised he said one of them, rather than.. well whatever else he could've said. He smiled though, for it wasn't denied by the marine. Rather he seemed quite amused by it, and so the sour look on his face began to fade a little.

"I guess I am." He murmured more quietly. "'s your fault." He added accusingly. "..Your fer most, n' then Chase's too.. n' them tars, n' Oxley... ye's all corruptin' me that way." His smile broadened some. The fear was gone, hope present. It would be alright, somehow it would! Anyway, Claggart wasn't as bad as Mr. Hollow, and that midshipman would never board Terpsy!

"Um.." He looked at the hand, which he still held, and instead of releasing it held his other out to the marine." You can have one o' me own." He looked all too serious as he'd said it. "It's got smaller fingers than yourn, but i hope it will do! It can work detail better, I promise! Jus' don't you mind it ain't as soft as it was!"

Thompson chuckled. "You young limb, you. Hold this still," he said and picked the lock up for de Guarde to take. "I need to get that bit off, in there, see, so you need to hold it tight. An' I hope I ain't goin' to scratch you."

Once de Guarde had hold of it, the Marine worked the cork out of the oil bottle again, wiping the dipstick off on the dirty rag he had.

"I don't mind gettin' blamed for it, neither," he said. "An' honest, if you keep up with what you've bin doin' and learnin', I'm sure it'll all come right for you in the end."

De Guarde kept a firm grip on the lock just as he hoped Thompson wanted him to. He looked at what he was doing curiously, trying not to forget, as most things, what he was seeing. It was something that might never become useful or else, it might just. A pocketful of flints collected from French muskets did prove useful before. Of course those weapons were destroyed later, but even if they've been left lying, they would've been useless.

"Don't mind if you do. Scratch me hand that is." He spoke softly. "..n'.. it came right already. I'm not alone, I can talk ter you fer one. N' I ... I can trust you and I do. Wot' I tell yer, I know yer not listenin' jus' ter use it against me t' next given moment, or ter report me ter some officer. Yer not getting me in trouble.. n' this'un." He kept his grip still quite firm. ".. you know, I might learn new things, the ones I want ter learn, not the sort I'm told to, just because of that too. "

He paused to take some breath in, to shift his position as his left leg began to feel as if it had fallen asleep, and then spoke: "N'.. like Quinn taught me how ter check a musket proper, you taught me things n' how ter hold it. Maybe Oxley..." he paused and shook his head. "Well, wot I'um trying to say...I learn, though don't ye be saying n' pointing out, I'um learnin' all t' wrong things, t' marine things!" He squeezed the fingers a little as if in warning. "There was a Tar that taught me how to carve figurines too. "

"I'll be careful," he said, and used the cleaned, oil-free dipstick to scratch at a bit of burned-on powder residue. "I wonder," he said, and broke off. "Could you hold that a bit higher? Thanks. I wonder... you should learn about the sailing like you'm learnin' all the Marines stuff. Show an interest in how it all works. The officers'll see that for sure, an' you want 'em to see you'm bein' a good sailor, after all. Not just a good Marine."

He drew a breath. "Took you a bit of time to learn to trust us, though that we wasn't goin' to use what we know in the wrong way, to hurt you. Mind you, we had to learn to trust you, too."

"I'll try.. but,.. dunno if Chase would be willing ter show me summat more. He'd be awfully busy, as is." He thought of that though, maybe he could ask him, learn a few tricks of the trade more from the Tar's berth. While the thought was appalling before, he found little to protest about now. Perhaps.

"Can't ask an officer though. Mr. Leat would tell me ter bugger of in a civil proper way, Mr. Bush would possibly not need ter say anything at all , just glare at me like he wanted ter have me turn ter stone, n'.. do you know who the third one is?"

He arched an eyebrow and tilted his head, looking curiously at the marine. He held the lock higher then, just as he'd asked him to. "..Yer didn't trust me before?" It was an innocent question. "Wot' could i have done, being a Tar n'all?"

"Ask him to 'splain stuff when you'm on duty. Mebbe not when you'm right in the middle of doin' summat, but after, or durin' dinner. You show you'm interested, folks'll talk to you, show you things. An' you won't need to talk to the officers. They'll see you if you get involved cheerfully, like the others. They're allus watchin' what goes on, an' how people are. How d'you think they know who to recommend to the cap'n to be rated petty officer, an' who'd be the worst sorts?"

He shrugged. "Didn't trust you proper when you was a middy. Then I felt sort of sorry for you an' we got to talkin' proper, didn't we?" He poked at a particularly stubborn bit of residue. "I think you just need to show you'm willin' and they'll see it. Be a bit patient. Cap'n Aubrey was an Able for six months, an' it never hurt his career at all after that."

"But wot' was the reason this.. uh captain became an Able?" If there were good captains that were Tars, for punishment, as was his own situation, he felt more hopeful for what the future could hold for him. That is, if Aubrey didn't just prove to be a lucky boy, with a captain willing to have him a midshipman again and not like their own Bolitho, whom he deemed quite cruel at the moment.

"You wos' smart not ter trust me, when I was a middie. I'd as soon turn on you as... well, I wos' full of meself, I thought t' world could not do nothin' against me. Not 'least any Tar or marine. Of course.. smackin'.. a corporal ain't right no matter where you are.." He tried a faint smile. "... Which...I think, me rump would agree." His smile was a bit bitter at the memory of that. Mister Yates used his temporary weakness against him too, and that darned Tar was highly amused about it.

"George, ..it wos' real hard ter get ter trust you lot. Ter even want to think I'd have ter trust you.. n'.. I wanted to say really, thanks for believin' me on wot' i said earlier. About that blackguard. I'um not lyin'..that's wot I'd like to say. "