Happy Birthday, Sweet Fifteen (13 June)

"I never want to do anything like that again if I can help it," Thompson said feelingly. He shook his head. "Dunno what brought that on. Prob'ly the smell, but folks got sick who wasn't even down there, so I dunno. I ain't a surgeon, to know that sort of thing, me." He smiled. "I'm glad you didn't get sick from it, though, I'll say that."

"Me too, though... I wasn't far off. Not gettin' sick from the same thing, mind, but you ought to have smelled how it was back down in t' sick berth. Everybody was retchin' or moanin' or groanin'. Had ter help some ter t' get themselves up to a bucket even jus' ter relieve themselves. Couldn't go further than that. Could hardly run fast enough ter t' heads... mind, that there was such a line, that even if they had any strength, they'd not have made it 'fore their bellies were ter betray 'em. Not t' most pleasant job I've ever had. Kind of reminded me of when we had horses." He chuckled.

"Only wif' horses you could pet them on the side after and stroke them on the head but trust me, you I did not want to do that with any of my patients here!"

"They'd prob'ly have bit your hand off if you'd tried it," Thompson remarked. "I know I ain't so nice-tempered, when I'm sick. Get to be right crotchety, I do.

He grinned and lay down on the deck between the carronades, one arm under his head to support it, and closed his eyes. "Nice day, this. Proper nice weather." He opened one eye to look up at De Guarde. "D'you ever ride a horse?" he asked, curiously.

"Well..When I was back home, we's had horses. More after.. The elder brother of my father died." He stretched a little and then after a few long moments of debating what he was to do, he shuffled to one side of Thompson and stretched out on the deck as well. His hands rested at his sides however, one on his belly, the other on the floorboards.

"I did ride before, yes. I'm a gennleman, remember?" He smiled lightly. "Horses are real nice... actually. They can be cheeky, but... they are gentle creatures and.. did you know that unless they are trained to, they'll try to avoid you, if you fall off their backs and under their hooves? They don't want to step on you, not at all. Mebbe couse it's also dangerous for their legs.. but even so."

"Usedta hold horses for gentlemen sometimes, me," Thompson recalled. "Get a ha'penny for it. Mebbe even a penny. Long time ago, that, though. Never rode one, though, not me." He turned his head to look at de Guarde. "Really? Never knew that."

"Really. 'fcourse that goes only for horses that ain't army horses, trained ter kick and bite and maul you. Those, 'fcourse will do just that... " He smiled and shifted onto his side after a while.

"If we're ever back home...and we's both still alive and well and have all limbs that we could hope for...If we don't manage it sooner n' that..." He paused. "No wait, we will manage it sooner couse you can have a horse borrowed against pay, to ride it about,... so I'll show you. You'll sit on one and I'll show you how it feels, deal?" He grinned. "Though, when.. if we do that you oughta promise me you will lissen to me, even if you's a corporal and me a mere Tar. Aye?"

Thompson shook his head. "You won't get me up on one of them, not nohow," he said, with a smile. "They got minds of their own an' I ain't gettin' on the back of one of 'em, not if you paid me!"

"Come on, wot' if I hold him t' same way you held yours when you was a child? ..Then it can't go nowhere, and I promise you it would not go." He nodded quickly. "You've seen I've handled those horses that we had in the hold, well. So's mean that I'd handle any horse so as they would not run off with you on their back!"

He grinned. "Or are yer scared out'ta yer wits, corpral?"

"I dunno..." Thompson said dubiously. "Any'ow, might never get the chance. Who'd let a M'rine sit on a horse, anyhow? 'Sides which I wouldn't have the first idea what to do with it if I got on one."

"Them people who's got horses that can be paid fer. Don't need ter buy one, that'd be too expensive... too much of t' coin that we don't got." He tapped his hand against the wood.

"But now, rentin' it so to say.. that'd be ..probable. It'd be easier, wos I a middie..couse then I'd get better pay.. .but can't be a chooser right now, can I?"

Thompson opened his eyes to look at de Guarde. "Be cheaper for me to buy you a ride with a nice girl, I'd say. Nicer for you an' all." He frowned. "What I've allus wanted to know, is how it don't damage your tackle, bouncin' up an' down on a horse, though. It don't look any too comfy, that's for sure."

"Damage your......Oh!" De Guarde burst into laughter. It was a valid question. "I don't know.. but you sure don't and you don't really ride... on it, or bounce on it, mind. If you did, you'd not see men smiling at all!" He spoke when he finally managed to catch his breath. "Silly George. ..It's a safe sort o' riding really. If it damaged things, there'd be no me, nor none of t' officers, you know!"

He smiled sheepishly. "You would buy me time with a girl?"

"Me tackle's sensitive, y'know," Thompson pointed out, though it was probably true that officers wouldn't ride if it meant harming themselves there. He shrugged. "Yeah. Unless you wouldn't want me to. Why not? A lad ought to have a good sort of girl for his first time, too, I reckon."

"Every man's.. uh tackle is sensitive, George." He chuckled. "Don't worry. You don't hurt it if you ride t' proper way. Jus' don't bounce too hard, and if you go at it slow there's really no danger of hurtin' yeself at all. I'll help yer through it all t' way. By t' time we's over, you'll be doin' it like you've been born to!" He shifted again and then rested his cheek against his hand.

"I'll trust yer choice then. You's got more experience n' I. An' if you say I needs a good one fer me firs'.. well I'd rather have un'.. than get into a bad sort o' thing."

"What would you rather I called it?" Thompson wanted to know. "Me prick?" He grinned. "Don't reckon I'll ever be so good at as all that. An' I'll find you a nice clean lass, too. One with nice size tits an' a pretty face."

"No, is' ok wot' you called it.. only I was not thinking of.. it 'till you called it that way!" He tapped his chin. "I'll atleast show you how it feels to ride a horse, deal? If you like it, we can try another time, and if you don't,.. then you'll ride in coach when I ride on horseback."

He stretched out a little, reached for his cup, took a few sips, placed it back down, closer to himself and enjoyed the warm sun. "Clean's good. I heard it itches something terrible, if they're not clean....even though....i've heard stories it shrivels up...if you do it too.."

"How about I walk?" Thompson suggested. The thought of him riding in a coach was utterly foreign. "Whatever else you get, you sure as hell don't want t'get poxed. Ain't at all a pretty sight - they go mad, them do, what get that. Dunno about it shrivellin' up, though."

"Oh, I wos' told it jus' shrivels up, but It can't be true.. couse if any time men did it, it shriveled up they could only do it once.. and I don't think after once yer get a ten children and there's some big families." De Guarde smiled. "So.. thinking logically... it prolly goes bad only if it's got into a poxed place.... right? Well.. don't want to go mad either. But.. how will you know she's clean?"

"I'll know, don't you worry about that," Thompson said, and chuckled, shaking his head at the memory. "You should've seen me an' Cob Chase in that water, though. It shrinks a bit in the cold, you know? An' I was that cold, it felt like it was jus' goin' to drop right off, prick, balls an' all."

"I know it shrinks! I was t' first ter go completely bare n' shiverin' under t' cold spurt of that!" He shuddered. "Dunno how either of you could have enjoyed it or willingly took it.'specially when yours nearly fell of like that!"

He rubbed his arms as if remembering how cold it was. "I thought it was the end of me. Was as awful as when I was in t' sea...chokin' on t' water.. and trashin' about to keep myself above water!..Why did you?"

"Was a bit of a lark, that was," Thompson said. "It's still there, though. Or was last time I checked." He grinned. "I bin colder'n that afore now. An' why did I what? Pull you out the water?" He shook his head. "I dunno lad, I really don't. Are you sayin' I oughta put you back?" He smiled, to make sure that de Guarde knew he was only teasing.

"No!" De Guarde exclaimed then shook his head. " I did not mean that anyway. Jus' why you were willing to jus' stand there in the water. Is all. I'm very happy I could spew water all over your trouser leg... I did do that, didn't I? I vaguely remember doing somethin' of the sort. So correct me if I'm wrong."

He sat up slowly. " How ol' are t' girls in those places? Couse I don't want them to tease me 'bout me age... which is a considerably great age, but not to some!"

"You have got stop gettin' me wet. I was wet enough by then anyway, an' Cob Chase up an' strips for a wash, so I figured what the hell, I was soaked through an' I might as well give meself a scrub-down, like." He pondered for a moment. "'Ow old d'you want her? 'Cause I won't find you some old crone, an' nor yet I ain't goin' to get a kid, neither. Mebbe a nice girl a bit older'n you?"

"Someone who's got experience. Older n' me." He agreed. He did not know how much older, just that he wanted someone who was a pretty lass. "Don't know how much.. but not like an ol' crone neither.. like you said. Sum'one that knows what's what and won't laugh. "

He closed his eyes. "...wot' do you think would be a good choice fer me?"

Thompson thought. "Mebbe someone about my sort of age. I like 'em curvy, me, an' dark-haired, but you mightn't. What I'll do is, we'll go together an' the one you like the look of, you'll have, how's that sound? Or we can wait for years an' years till we get back to England an' I can arrange for you to go with someone I know back there."

He had to adjust himself a little. Thinking about this sort of thing out here was just making his trousers uncomfortable.