4th June: A nice sway and patter of feet

Leaford shook his head again. "A couple of mistakes do not a bleak future make. Unless of course you want to remain a common Tar the rest of your days."

He was not unaware of the boy's temporary duties, following his appalling behaviour when the ship's boys were bathed, but it was still refreshing to hear it mentioned by the lad himself.

"I rather think you put too much faith in this fellow," he said. "You'll find, my lad, that sometimes those who act the sweetest turn out the sourest."

The boy should his head. " I do not want to remain a Tar. My family would not have wished it." Or to know of it. "But.. I will seek a different option if I do not see my future furthered in the ways of becoming a midshipman." And there perhaps it would have been wisest if he held his tongue about his other plans, such as one which would have made him a marine, captain permiting.

He considered Leaford's words further. "He acts a ..different sort of sweet."He explained. This was true. "He scolds when he thinks it fit, he teaches and he explains. He does not tell me that all I do is right but rather...rather like wot' a teacher would do. Only, he explains it better." He frowned. " I know the men who act sweet untill an opportune moment. There , I am assured.. are some such here. Those, who have nearly done me in as well. Do not think I am ignorant of them."

"Oh?" His tone invited further explanation of these statements. Or, more accurately, of the first one. Of the second, he was less interested, for the moment.

"Yes." De Guarde was silent for a few moments. He debated what that Oh might have meant. Disinterest yet politeness? Curiosity? But then, about what? The first or the second of the things he had explained. Perhaps the second could yet again be divided in two.

He believed foolishyly perhaps, that this man intended to help him. That indeed, he was here thinking of warning him of the dangers before he fell head first into one of the traps. "I suppose you had heard it before.." If news travelled all directions and ways:" But... i've been offered ..well say.. given an opportunity that I become a marine, after my... apt performance as a drummer!" The latter he did not say without too much pride at the success that number earned.

He had indeed heard that. "A very fortuitous offer," he agreed. "It was a fine performance, to all accounts. Not, perhaps, the sort of offer made to just anyone, certainly."

There was, of course, a 'but'. Leaford cut straight to it. "But. Do you think it wise to accept it? It would be akin to leaping feet first into the wolves' den, wouldn't you think?"

A word of flattery could never go amis with boys striving for just such a thing. They certainly did not make De Guarde's proud smile any smaller. Rather it looked as if though the boy found it in him to push his chest out a little, and to straighten up , growing a few inches.

Twice it felt like a recognition of his own abilities. This mood was barely dampened by the next question to which he had a confident answer:" Not at all. I see no lions in the marine's mess. Given there is one marine that I might choose to avoid... but he is hardly the majority." There was of course the corporal Johnson he nearly forgot too. Him he could not avoid and him he heartily disliked.

That was something indeed. "You are confident. How admirable." Leaford affected a smile. "Well. Self-assurance does often help when little else does. Even in such an ambiguous situation as your own."

De Guarde arched a brow, Leaford's speech affecting him with a bout of curiosity for there appeared always something more behind the words of that man.

" I am confident that it should be no worse n' being a Tar, and I could.. only go further. But... as a man of greater experience" He did emphesize that in the nicest manner:" ..may you tell me what your mind is on the matter? I sense that you.. are not .. perhaps completely convinced my confidence should be enough.. nor that I am right in my conviction perhaps of there being no lions."

"Why," Leaford said, injecting a note of innocence into his voice, "I am merely uncertain that taking on as a regular Marine is the best choice of profession, for a fellow of good stock such as yourself. Certainly a commission would suit much better?"

"Do you believe I am unfit to be a ...regular marine? I do strive for higher. Eentually." Which again was true, but he imagined that widh due punishment he could not even expect higher, not right away.

"Certainly not," Leaford answered. "But there is not so very high for a common Marine to go, whereas an officer may advance almost as high as he likes, if he is good enough."

The boy frowned. Much as he would have liked to say otherwise, the man was right. "True. But should I be marked in the black book to my officers now, and would not have a chance.. as you say, to climb so high, ..It is better to go anywhere.. than go nowhere at all."

He shrugged. "The marines are..of interest to me. Though I cannot deny that I would like as well were I to be made midshipman again. ... Now that I have learnt my...well, that my ways needed bettering for this ship. And my actions altering."

The boy had a point, Leaford admitted. Maybe he wasn't so stupid after all.

"Of course," he said. "A life of pipeclay, musket drill, and sentry duty could indeed prove intriguing to a lad who dislikes his present disgrace. If you are certain that is the path for you... naturally you must take it."

"It is a life of order in ways. It is a different life." It had its hardships and its benefits that a Tar's life did not. It felt as if though it did rise above the lowest in the ship, though he knew he was giving that station an unfair mark.

"I do not know whether the captain will allow me as much. I have indeed asked, but, see.. it isn't a decision easily made, nor is it a decision easily allowed to me." He looked thoughtfully at Leaford. "...my actions have...possibly distraught even the lieutenant of the marines.. or they would have myself if I was in a possition of such a man." By that time, he seemed to have forgotten to bite down on the words, as he was used to and made a speach of better much pronountiation.

"..I only wish... that this had not brought..." He hesitated. The only one who had visited him in sick-berth was Thompson, that he remembered. It still pained him that others did not come. It was something he should not have expected them to, but it hurt no less that they did not. "...they did not understand my reaction and....and none came but him." He averted his gaze. "Is why.. why I know he is my friend and is not so,because he would want something from me."

"Now there," Leaford remarked, "you sound almost like an officer yourself. Which is a station you may not perhaps reach again should you trade a blue jacket for red."

He shrugged. "So you say, but I should still be wary of any who make visits to a fellow who is struck down injured, particularly one in your position, where no others dare do likewise."

If there was any short sentance to bring a boy to one's side, Leaford just found it. A compliment again, that the boy looked up to, with all the allertness of one starving who has been waved food or shown where it would be.

"There are lieutenants in the marines. And those are officers, are they not?" He asked timidly. With a short pause he dropped his gaze. "You say that they did not dare. But why? At present I am no different than them, no higher in station, but with a voice that noone would listen or hear. If I were so much as to decide make a....." He bit his tongue for he did not know whether he should not have spoken so. It was not a slight against any lieutenant but it could be taken as such. It would not bode well for him, would it?, if it was. "I mean no disrespect..nor do I mean to speak ill." He hurried to add. "It is just...a.. a plain and understandable situation." That if he was to make a complaint about anyone, his would not be heard.

Leaford inclined his head slightly in acknowledgment of this first statement. "Surely it is no great mystery. For even as certainly as they would use you for their own ends, they do not want to bring the captain's wrath down upon them for being seen with you. So soon after your punishment as it is. It would be a bold one indeed to do just that, which does make me wonder."

"...A bold one, or a friend." He hesitated, his own ideas of a friend such as perhaps too much an ideal or perhaps just right. "..Why else would he have come to see me and ask about me and how I was?...If the others..." He paused thoughtfully and again lifted his gaze to rest on leaford for a few moments before being averted. "...do you suggest that..none of the men or boys aboard this ship are... even meaning to be friends, let alone are?"

He continued though to believe that Thompson could not have come there for any dark reason as the marine never did do something to harm him. He came to see him and to give him comfort even when he barely knew he was there. What could he gain from that that he did not already have before? it was a mystery to him. He did know that men were creatures of benefit to themselves. True. But, it was others that he could picture as such selfish beings but not him. It surprised him, truthfully, that he put so much faith in a man he did not know for too long, but there was something worth clinging.

"Why," Leaford replied. "It could be any number of reasons. I shouldn't like to suggest any particular one as being true. Neither should I suggest there are no honest men aboard. But I will confess that what you describe is a very distinct possibility."

"...You do not want to pass judgement.. But you do have an opinion on the matter. Would you please.. as unsupported or supported by fact as it may be, reveal it to me?" He had not spoken with such likeness of word for a while now, and it was possibly a wonder whether company could make him speak so or differently.

"What possibilities do you see, that drive the actions of these men and boys?"

"I have a suspicion," Leaford corrected. "Not quite an opinion." He paused, seeming to consider the question put to him. "As I view it, those who would be close to you no doubt expect you to regain your former station. In that event, they would then have a friend in a higher place and authority than they themselves possess. Particularly these other boys."

"...Oh. But... then.. then they did not come. Wouldn't they come if they knew it would benefit them?" He looked up with a frown. "...Friends are hard to find." And he feared that he had very few. He hoped he had some at least.

"...But that... that does not go for all. Not him! George...is an honourable man."

The master's mate suppressed a shrug. "I should think fear of the captain quite overrides any notion of benefit in that instance," he observed. "I shall take your word for it, my lad, and trust you know your own instincts."

Thompson was heading on deck for a bit of air and a smoke. He paused in fishing out his pipe and tobacco pouch as he heard voices nearby.. One of the master's mates was talking to a very familiar figure. Mister Leaford, Thompson realised with a sinking heart. He put his pouch away again and straightened up to approach the pair.

"Afternoon, sir," he said, touching his hat politely - as only a master's mate, Mister Leaford did not rate a full salute. And Thompson had rank of his own, now, too, though that was still a bit strange to him. "Buckles, are you heading on deck?"

It would be pretty strange if de Guarde wasn't taking part in the skylarking with the other boys, after all.

"I do. With him, I am certain. He gave me a shirt. He tailored it to fit me just right." He smiled warmly. "...what.. what should I do with others, so that I know whether they are true or whether they lie?"

He became quiet when hearing Thompson approach and jumped a little when he spoke. He smiled then turning to look at the marine and gave him a quick shrug. "...mebbe am. I don't know... was not thinkin' o' going anyplace.. corp'ral."