Chat on the Foc'sle

"..Maybe. But ter them I'll always be wot' i was." He said quietly. ".. To some 'tleast and if I get to be a middie. Because then I wouldn't be one of them no more and they'd fear it, don't you think? Wouldn't ye fear a dog that bit you once while free, even if it were on t' chain all till jus' recently again. And he'd be coming at ye?"

He pulled the lad a little closer. "I think that it's a real good thing you come over here when you did. 'Cause, well, folks here don't know you like they did on your old ship. They seen what happened to Cob Chase, o' course, but they don't know everythin' you done when you was on your old ship. You know the slate that the officer of the watch makes his notes on, 'bout the weather an' the course and the sails set and all that? Well, when the watch changes, all that's written in the Master's journal, and the Captain's journal and the officer comin' on watch gets a clean slate give to him. That's what you've got, comin' here - a whole clean slate. And you messed up a bit, 'cause you didn't know how Terpsy does things, but when you get back to bein' an officer, whenever that'll be, you will know, so you won't do them same things again. Clean slate, see?"

"..Clean slate." He liked the sound of that. It was just a little scribbled on with Chase's record, and a few other things he wasn't at all proud of. One incident that had him leaving the dinner quicker than a man could spit, and the few others where he had bullied the men he now shared a mess with. There, if he thought back on his first days, was a lot he had done that could well have been thought as trouble.

"..But wot' if they learn of it?" He whispered. What if Thompson found out more, about the Confidence and what things he had done. Would he still think him such a clean slate, such a promising lad for change, or would he have turned his back on him and agreed that a swim was the best thing to befall the boy.

"Who's goin' to tell 'em?" Thompson asked. "I ain't goin' to ask you what you done, and you ain't goin' to up an' tell 'em just like that. And, well, if anyone from your old ship comes aboard here, I reckon it won't be before folks start seein' you be yourself more, and the folks from... Confidence?... won't believe it's the same person. 'Cause you're already behavin' more like a Terpsy than the bullyin' middy who came aboard that day."

"..You ain't going ter? You ain't going to want to know?" He was surprised at it. Would Thompson not want to know, did he really not care and was giving him that chance to start anew even at the expanse of ignorance? It was too good to be true.

"I won't tell them, that's fer sure!" He nodded quickly. No, he'd have been daft, stupid, mad. And obviously it wasn't none of their business either. His hold tightened a little in gratitude.

"Thanks, George." He whispered. "For havin' had such a faith in me, n' t' patience I dun deserve."

"Why would I want to make you tell me you done summat in the past that you wouldn't do now? Unless you ever choose to tell me, which is diff'rent, see." He smiled at the lad, even though de Guarde probably wouldn't see it. "You just keep all-on doin' what you're doin', an' you'll prove to me that I'm right to trust you."

"..I dunno." There could be secrets among friends. He was glad for it. Perhaps some day he would tell it, though he doubted. Thompson wasn't the sort of man that would look kindly on it. He was after all teaching him quite the opposite of the ways he was in his old ship. He nodded, even though it would probably not be seen by the other man.

"I guess." He murmured. "...That's a deal." A better one. He smiled and sighed contently. "I'll try ter do me best. Jus' know I'um human. Means that I make mistakes, so.. think on that when i do things. Alright? That sort of thing..." He didn't want to loose that trust nor friendship. Not now that he'd earned it.

"You'um still practicing writing your name? Still know t' letters I've taught you?" He asked.

"Aye, we're all human an' we all make mistakes. 'Cept the Cap'n, who's, well, the Cap'n." He grinned at that thought; the captain of a ship was indeed so far removed from the men of the lower deck as to be infallible, even though Thompson didn't honestly believe he was.

"Aye, still practicin'. Here, I c'n show you a bit, if you'll shift round a little. Do it on your back, see, so's you can feel it. If you want me to show you, I mean."

"'cept Captain, or so they claim." The boy agreed with a grin. Captains were said to do no mistakes although it could certainly not be completely true. Not with what decisions they made every day, to flee, to fight. Their actions would go under scrutiny of those higher up, that he knew. But for the crew the captain had to be as near as all knowing as possible.

He opened his mouth to say that he couldn't exactly see in the dark, when Thompson first began to suggest he would show him. Then his face cleared and he nodded. That was a smart idea which needed no eyes.

" Yes, I'd like you to." He murmured and shifted a little where he sat, pulling on his shirt till it was as straight as his skin so that the finger wouldn't catch on it exactly and he'd have trouble guessing a letter then.

He was surprised that Thompson had actually done some work on writing his name, though perhaps he needn't be so surprised! The man had been very glad to be able to write his name so if he had a chance he would certainly not want to forget it. Atleast that's what De Guarde's reasoning was for it. "There.S' this alright?"

"I'm goin' to do one letter at a time, an' you can tell me if I got it wrong, all right? Though, it's rather a long name when you write it, which is real strange 'cause it ain't all that long when you say it."

He started tracing his name with a finger, and paused. "You'll tell me if'n summat ain't quite clear, won't you? So's i can do it again, I mean."

"I will." The boy nodded and sounded a bit distracted. "I'll tell yer what I think it is, or if I'm not sure I'll ask yer ter write it again, how's that sound?" He smiled at Thompson.

"Well ye've got good, ter have a long name. Yer learnt more letters that way. Sort of. Would be a real bummer if yer had a name summat like Tim Pot or summat." Wasn't the best example, unless he wanted to show the name for shortness.

"Alright, start from t' beginnin'. Oh, n' write one letter as big as yer can, n' just a letter over a letter, aye? Think it will be easier that way."

"All right," Thompson said. "I'm goin' to do me Christian name as well, like, o' course. Just so's you don't get all confused an' wonder what I'm doin'."

He traced his finger carefully over de Guarde's back, round and down before finishing with a straight line up and down.

"Must say, it's easier doin' it big," the Marine admitted.

"Is so. With the size. It's clearer too. The smaller someone writes, the greater the chance it gets mucked up and.. then even us go guessin' wot' on earth somebody wished to write. Though that's not proper writing no. Proper is summat that is lovely too."

The boy subconsciously arched his back a little like a cat. "Hmm.. a G? " He said with a small smile.

"Sit still," Thompson admonished, though he was smiling. "Can't remember if you told me what they was all called, the letters. That's the first one of me Christian name, right 'nough. Here's the next one. It's all curly too, though there ain't any straight lines in it."

He traced a lower-case 'e' on de Guarde's back.

"Hey, if I tickle you, you'll tell me, afore you start laughin' and wake everyone up, won't you?" the Marine asked, as he recalled the boy's reaction the other day to just one finger wiggling a little against his side.

"Well I'll tell yer now, so you know too. they usually sound like t' sound you make with them anyhow. Although some aren't heard at all of course. Um ..anyhow! Aye, is G from George." He grinned. "Firs' letter n' big couse it's a first one of the name. "

"That's e." It wasn't hard to guess, as Thompson did a good one. " Now um.. e's makes many sounds or none. Jus' like with your name. You don't say it, but it's written. Sort of has to be." He smiled. It didn't tickle yet and it wasn't at his side so it was alright. It felt nice and comforting a bit too. Though at this time it wasn't meant to.

"'fcourse I'll tell you!.. well I'll cover me mouth n' I'll squirm as if I were tryin' ter shake a whole family o' fish of me. Though, is fine there on t' back. Doesn't tickle." He didn't say more.

Thompson nodded. "Well, so long as you don't start laughin', that's fine. Next one is just round, like this." He traced a circle over the shirt the lad was wearing. He'd been taken by surprise at how the lad had responded to being given something like that. Though maybe Thompson was too used to the lower decks' way of life and the sort of things friends there gave each other.

"How's that one, then?" he said, gazing over the boy's shoulder to where the tightly-packed hammocks swayed gently with the ship's motion.

The boy was keeping silent though he was as good as the ship's cat except for the purring, which he could not do. And he was glad he didn't, else he'd have been so terribly embarrassed and Thompson would look at him weird too and stop.

"That's an easy one." He said with a grin. "That's a T!" Then he paused unsure if Thompson would've seen he was joking: "An o.. t' round one." He murmured still in enough of a whisper that he would not wake anyone. "s' the one you can hear when you say George. "

Thompson grinned. It seemed the lad liked this idea of 'writing' on his back. "Here's the funny bent one," he said, doing the 'r' as carefully as he could.

" Umm... Can you do it again?" He asked and sounded amused:" Funny bent one. You'd have to be a teacher! Would have all t' children laughin' 'tleast." He relaxed a little. Perhaps he could ask for another, bigger letter to be written again. It would be a bit of a cheat, but it was all for the better after all!

"N' i think t' letter you are goin for,.. no wait, you draw it again n' I'll see!"

"There's only one of 'em in my name," Thompson said, grumbling good-naturedly before smoothing the shirt again. "Goes down, then up and bends a bit. You know what that is, don't you."

"Um... ah. I might know, but jus' so, you better write it. The R is what you mean, isn't it? It makes the sound too in your name. That one." He grinned. "N' after that one, what's then? "He knew of course, but he wished to see if so did Thompson.

"What's next? This'n. Goes round, then down an' finishes in a sort of hook," he said, drawing the 'g'. "Looks a bit like a goat. Then there's another curly one." He followed it with another 'e'.

"That's a small gee. You have a big one and a small one. But they'um the same letter jus' drawn in their big or small size really." He nodded. "N' another e. That's right." He smiled proud. "Now what comes next hm?" He asked and chuckled.

" A g looks like a goat? well dunno 'bout that but see.. t' word goat has a gee aswell! So you can see it's the same letter but a different sound. George, goat! N' goal or give , gift too. Game. All with a gee."

"But.. geography.. 's got your sounding G. Also writes with an G E and O." Though it was said a bit different. "And general, generous. All sorts like that."

"Looks like a goat, a bit," Thompson insisted. "I'll show you. Here it is again, see. This's the head, goes round like this, then down a bit and that's its beard." He lifted his finger up. "And then it's got eyes, here an' here, an' a mouth, and two short stubby horns on top. See what I mean?"

"Well, I guess it does look like it, though i've never thought of that." The boy rather liked the drawing part of the drawing. "So's if little g looks like a goat what do other letters remind yer of?" He asked smiling.

He was ready to sleep thanks to that. A bit of bliss which he would not have been admitted to. But in the dark Thompson didn't know that he had a cat under his hands, so all was well. And he'd allowed it only because he trusted this man. Shouldn't he have felt full at ease, he would probably not be here anyway.