Day of the Flogging

"It's allus worse, watchin' it," Cotton said. "And it's all right, Maggie. I'm here, you'm here, and it's over. Finished." He shifted position so he could slip his left arm - the one it was least painful to raise - around her shoulders.

She leaned her head on his shoulder, gently, tentatively. She couldn't shake the feelings of guilt and shame and self-blame. And like Cotton, she wasn't used to having so much time to sit and do nothing but think. "It would be normal if your friends blamed me - even though I know you don't." She looked at his face, his eyes, kind brown eyes. "I thought I was going to get punishment too. It would have been... fair." She hung her head. "I wish it had been me instead of you. It should have been."

"I'm glad you weren't," Cotton replied, stroking her hair. "Don't make no sense, havin' two people whipped for one mistake. An' you're my woman, so I should take the blame." He reached - slightly painfully - for his jacket and tucked it round her shoulders.

"Don't go wantin' to change what's past. No good ever comes of that, Ma allus used to say. It's water under the bridge, Maggie lass. You have to look forward now, to the good things."

"But I can't help it," she said with tears in her eyes. "Look what I did to you. I hurt you. I shamed you."

"Maggie Evans. You did not hurt me. You never put that watch there for me to find, and what happened after that was a mistake. And I ain't 'shamed of you." He paused.

"I... I thought you'd be 'shamed o' me, though, lass. I'm a flogged soldier, now, and you... you was sweetheart to a Corporal. You could have any man in the Company, and he'd be proud to have you on his arm."

"Stop!" she interrupted, the tears starting to fall. "Not now, he wouldn't. Just - I can't touch you, your back. I wish I could hold you." She grasped his arm instead, sighing sadly. "Maybe that's what happens. I can't touch anyone without them getting hurt."

"It's part of life, that is, sweeting." He smiled, though it was slightly sad. "You just have to take the bad and the good, together." He brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "You'm a good lass, Maggie, and we all make mistakes and get things wrong, sometimes."

She smiled faintly at him. "Listen to you. I can't. I don't know how. I can't. I'll never forgive myself."

"Can't teach you how to do that, Maggie. But I've forgiven you, an' that's a start, ain't it?"

And feeling a little awkward, he kissed her on the cheek.

Her cheek felt like it was burning - but a pleasurable burning. It would take some getting used to. She lifted up her head and returned the kiss onto his own cheek, feeling somewhat soothed already. "Does it hurt if I do this?" she asked, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Gabriel. You really are an angel."

"No, that don't hurt." He smiled, resting his head lightly on hers. "I ain't an angel though. Just a soldier who's made some bad choices. And some very good ones. I'm glad you're my girl."

"So am I." She smiled shyly. "I told Captain Vickery he could send me away if he wanted to, but he said no. I was so relieved."

Cotton smiled, stroking her hair. "If... if I'm still his batman, and you'm still my woman, you'll have to get used to talkin' with him, you know. And mebbe he'd prefer for you to do his mendin', than me. My sewin's not much good, not like yourn."

She laughed lightly. "I won't mind if he doesn't mind."

John Vickery wrote:"I shall tell my men to look for you this evening, then, Private. Carry on."

"Yes sir!" He saluted to the man and spurred his horse at first into a walk, then trott and then at the very last a gallop, once men were not in his way so that he would not bring any down by whole accident. If any were close enough now on foot, they could've felt a speck of mud fly in their way. Ofcourse he did make somewhat sure that he was riding clear of them.

His leg still ached, but it was nowhere near as bad as the past few days, when he had had to walk and limp about. He looked across his shoulder briefly. He went alongside the resting column. He had some time, before he needed to approach the Colonel, but would stay in sight of him, should the man need it.

"Why should he mind? He's kept me on as his batman, which I never expected, and he said you're still on the strength. And he knows you'm walkin' out with me. So he ought to expect you to be doin' his mendin'. He knows I ain't any good at it, after all."

She smiled. "All right. I owe him that much, for certain, because he's been more than kind. And you, sweet Gabe. What can I do for you? Tell me something I can do to repay you." She looked up at him earnestly. "I'll do anything for you, Gabe, if I can."

He smiled at her. "I don't need repayin'. But I'd like to kiss you, if you'll let me, lass." He bent his head a little further, ignoring the protest his back gave him, and kissed her on the mouth, gently, lingering a little before raising his head again.

"There, now. And thank you for staying with me. I didn't think you'd want to, and I am glad I was wrong."

(OOC - and I'm going out visiting, and I don't know when I'll be back.)

She smiled shyly. "Well here I am, for as long as you want. And I brought you something." She opened up the bag she had fetched when the column had stopped, and she pulled out a slate. "You're going to learn to read."



[continued In the surgeon's wagon.]