Wedding Bells in Oporto

He had run out of words in the face of her stark terror and could think of no way to reassure her that he was not a man who could inflict more hurt on her of the sort she had already suffered. He put his finger under her chin to raise her head and bent to kis her, very gently and tenderly, raising his head before he had done much more than merely press his lips against hers. "If... if you don't want to, I won't make you. Even... even tonight." Not even to consummate their marriage would he force her, not after everything she'd been through.

She looked up at him. Her voice was low when she spoke. "Do you really mean that?"

He nodded. "Yes. I mean it. Honest I do. What happened to you was... horrible. An' I ain't like that - couldn't do that. You... you mean too much to me."

She squeezed his arm. "I know. I'm sorry Gabe, I don't mean you'd... You're as gentle as Jesus, Gabe, always." People were beginning to stir and she watched them warily, lowering her voice. "I will try. Just maybe... not tonight." She looked up at him and sighed apologetically. "I don't mind if you want to call off the wedding." She was about to add "until then," but decided to leave it completely open to him.

He did blush then. "I ain't, then. I'm a soldier an', well, I ain' nothin' like as good as Him. Couldn't be, could I?" He glanced at the nearest Riflemen and shrugged. "It's your choice, you bein' the woman. I offered to marry you, an' I ain't backin' out of that now. Not unless... 'less you want to call it off." And if she did, the rejection would hurt him deeply, but he'd live, and, well, there was always another day.

She smiled slightly. "I meant you always been gentle to me. And I do want to marry you. Today, or... if you'd rather wait..."

"Today, then. Unless you'd really rather wait." He wound a strand of Maggie's hair around his finger. "Only... you'm goin' to have to face up to... to that, sooner or later, you know. Or we may as well not bother with marryin' at all."

She looked at him sharply, suddenly on her guard again. "But not tonight? Even if we get married today?"

"No, not tonight. I promise. Not without your say-so. An', well, you ain't given that, so no. Not tonight." It was going to be a hard road for the both of them, he thought, helping her to learn to trust men again - to trust him, anyway.

She squeezed his hand and then lifted it up to kiss it. She did not have the words to express what she was feeling, the gratitude and the guilt, but it was a relief to have that particular weight lifted from her heart. Poor Gabe.

He smiled at her, and gently rubbed her cheek with a finger. "I'd do anything to help you, Maggie. I love you."

She smiled back at him. "You're so good, Gable. I'm sorry, I am, honest. Thank you." She looked down at her lap. It was one of the most difficult conversations she had ever had, and she was certain that it had not been easy for Cotton either. He had to be disappointed. It was only natural. "I promise I'll... try. As soon as... I mean I won't keep you waiting longer than... I'm sorry." All of her words seemed to be inadequate. "I do love you and all. And want to get married." She looked up at him tentatively. "And still want some tea." And there was a faint light of humor in her eyes.

Well, she'd been honest with him, and it couldn't have been easy, not after everything that happened to her. He reached out to where she'd folded her hands in her lap, and took hold of them, feeling their work-hardened skin that was still softer than his own hands.

"Maggie, I want you for me wife, an' not just for... that. 'Cause I can't imagine bein' apart from you. When you... when you stopped be'ind, I thought me whole world had fallen in. An' when you come back an' I seen you on that horse I felt... Well, I felt like a dead man come back to life. It ain't jus' for... that. If I wanted only that, I could go out an' find a whore. But I don't. I want you, Maggie. 'Cause you'm... Well, 'cause of who you are. An' I love bein' with you, an' jus' talkin' with you."

He flapped his other hand, impatient with himself and annoyed that he didn't have the words to convey everything he felt. It wasn't as though he was used to talking about his feelings anyway, and what he had said had managed to turn itself into a speech far longer than was usual for him.

He smiled and squeezed her hand. "Tea. Tea sounds right good, lass. I'll get it." He got up to busy himself with putting the kettle on and preparing tea for them both.

She tucked her knees up under her chin and gathered the gray folds of her dress modestly around her shins. She watched him as he worked, recognizing his embarrassment but grateful for his words. When he had produced the desired cup of tea, she took it in her hands and leaned close beside him, her arm pressing against his.

"So we'll get married today, and eventually, later on, we'll have lots of babies to take home and show your dad. And show him you ain't been idle since he seen you last."

That made Cotton laugh, though he kept it quiet because there were still soldiers asleep. "We'll have a boy first, how 'bout that? Then a girl, an' then I don't mind what comes. An' all the girls will be just as pretty as their mum, who's the loveliest girl I ever seen. An' Ma'll fuss over 'em all, an' Dad'll take the boys an' teach 'em how to set snares an' the best way of lookin' after ferrets - an' where to hide 'em where the Squire won't find them, too." He shifted his mug so he could slip his arm around Maggie. "An' we'll all live together in a cottage some'rs with honeysuckle an' roses in the garden, how's that sound?"

She smiled. "Sounds grand. But the squire? What about Captain Vickery? Don't he have a grand estate somewhere that they can set their snares?"

Cotton considered that. "Dunno that I'd poach the Captain's rabbits. 'Sides, he's the younger son - he won't inherit the estate, though I think he'll get some money or somethin'. Have to see if I can't persuade him he wants to live in Kent when all this war's finally done with."

"Where does he live now? London somewheres? Or I bet he's got two or three different houses, in country and town."

"Well... I think he lives with his folks in their house, when he's home. Which he ain't been since he come into the Rifles from... from whichever regiment it was he was with afore transferrin'." He gave a theatrical shudder. "Dunno that I'll be too happy with him if he goes to live in London an' wants me to come too. I'm a country lad, me. Too used to bein' out of doors, in the fields."

"I've never been to London," Maggie said wistfully. "I bet the captain goes to fancy balls and meets beautiful ladies in silk dresses... Won't he be waking up soon?"

"I've never bin to London either, an' don't much care for the idea of goin'. Well. Mebbe jus' to see it, so I could say I've bin. Couldn't stay there, though." He glanced towards the window. "Aye. S'pose I'd better make him a cup o' tea an' get his shavin' water ready for him." He didn't move, though. Being a very-nearly-married man could easily persuade him into bad habits, but he didn't mind. It wasn't every day that was your wedding day, after all.

By now Joe Cavender had fully roused himself and had come to claim his promised cup of tea. "Go on then, Gabe. Don't want to make him change his mind about letting you get married if it keeps him waiting of a morning."

"You goin' to be like this all the time?" Cotton asked and reluctantly detached himself from her to start making the officer's morning tea. "Here, Joe lad. Gis your cup an' I'll do yourn an' all. Might as well, after all."

He took the battered mug that Cavender held out and poured him a cup of tea. The lad took it, vainly trying to hide a yawn behind his other hand.

Maggie smiled and watched. "It's just for today. Gotta be on your best behavior today is all. Well... and maybe the next few days too. Just so's he doesn't regret letting us wed." She looked up at him more earnestly then. "Do you think I ought to mend his shirts or do something extra for him? Just to show that he's not losing a batman, but... gaining a batman's helpmate and all."

"I think he'd prefer you to do his sewin' than me. I ain't so good at all that - you can see where I tried to darn his shirt cuffs an' made a bit of a mess of it." He smiled. "It'd help me, too. I'm best with his sword an' stuff. Tryin' to look after his jacket an' shirts gives me nightmares." That was stretching the truth, but Cotton did not like sewing - that was a woman's job, after all. "Think he'd prefer a woman's touch on them to mine, anyhow."

He put another kettle on to heat and picked the Captain's tea up. "Be right back - jus' goin' to deliver this here," he said, carefully picking his way through the still-sleeping Riflemen to the door that led to the stairs up to Vickery's room.