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A Guilty Conscience

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Post  Edward Leat Tue Nov 23, 2010 10:56 pm

"De Guarde, sir," Leat said. He knew that the ex-midshipman's name would be enough.
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Post  Richard Bolitho Sat Nov 27, 2010 3:54 pm

"Ah, yes." Bolitho had been wondering whether that delicate subject would come up, considering the events which had already occurred that day. He shook his head. "A trying subject indeed. But I hope you do not feel responsible for his actions. That boy's behavior cannot be blamed on anyone aboard this ship."
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Post  Edward Leat Sat Nov 27, 2010 8:50 pm

"I am wondering, sir, who it can be blamed on," Leat said, shaking his head. "I do not know if it is the boy or something else. It beggars belief that he could have got away with being like this on his other ship."

But then again Leat remembered the thin white scars across De Guarde's backside which had betrayed many a previous and brutal caning. That disturbed and confused him, unable to comprehend why a boy who knew only a beating lay as punishment, already demonted from his natural station, would continue to misbehave.
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Post  Richard Bolitho Mon Nov 29, 2010 3:38 pm

"I have my suspicions, but obviously I cannot say for certain."

Even though he was fairly sure that much of De Guarde's behavior had been influenced by his previous captain, Bolitho was unwilling to speak ill of a man he had never met. Besides, there were many others who may have had an unfavourable effect on the boy. The captain was not the only person aboard ship who could have affected De Guarde's attitude.

"As much as I hate to think that any vessel in the fleet could be conducted in such a manner, perhaps cruelty was constant aboard the boy's previous ship. If so, then that is a decidedly bad place for a young man to learn anything, much less the proper usage of authority."
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Post  Edward Leat Wed Dec 08, 2010 7:02 am

Leat was not stupid enough to protest that cruelty could not breed cruelty; he knew too well that was not the case. Life on the lower deck and the workings of the press gang had taught him contrary to that.

"Whatever his reasons, sir, whether nature or nurture, he is only on a path to self-destruction if he continues as he does. I have wondered what I could do to knock some sense into him, but punishment seems to have no effect."
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Post  Richard Bolitho Thu Dec 09, 2010 4:25 pm

That was precisely what was so aggravating about De Guarde. Bolitho wanted to help the boy, but he just did not seem to respond to discipline. Leat had summed it up perfectly.

"I have wondered the same thing myself. I would like the boy to change his ways, but I seem to be at a loss as to how to go about that. Being as punishment seems not to register, just as you said, and I somehow doubt he will listen to any sort of logical discussion either."
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Post  Edward Leat Sat Dec 11, 2010 9:25 am

"I did try to speak to him, sir," Leat confessed, remember the conversation he'd attempted to have with De Guarde in his cabin. It seemed so long ago now... "When he was still rated midshipman, when he had started to cause trouble, I had a word with him in my cabin; tried to make him see sense. I felt then, though, that I could not make any impression on him."
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Post  Richard Bolitho Fri Dec 17, 2010 3:37 pm

Well at least Leat had taken the initiative to speak with De Guarde, though Bolitho doubted any of the officers would be able to make any sort of impression on the lad no matter how sternly they might speak to him.

"I admire that you made an effort to speak to him, Mr. Leat, but I fear it will take a good deal more than just a discussion to make the boy see reason." Bolitho sighed. "If he could only learn from the fine examples you and the other officers are setting..."
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Post  Edward Leat Tue Jan 04, 2011 4:02 am

Leat was not so sure of the "fine examples", but at least he, Bush, Tadcock and Cartwright knew about doing their duties. The petty officiers were a fairly sound lot as well, if you discounted Watts' foul temper.

"Much as I hate to say it, sir, but I would have imagined that the Lower deck would have begun to impose it's own code of conduct on him by now."

The young lieutenant remembered all too well how quickly one learned to adapt to the ways of the Lower deck - it was either that or go under. He did not imagine it would be any different on Terpsichore.
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Post  Richard Bolitho Thu Jan 06, 2011 3:46 pm

"I would have thought so. After all, the purpose in demoting him was to make the boy learn at least some sort of lesson in how to behave himself. Though I have to wonder if even the justice of the lower deck would be enough to set De Guarde's behavior to rights."

If the sailors could not make De Guarde see reason, who could?
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Post  Edward Leat Fri Jan 07, 2011 9:16 am

Leat despaired silently. If even Bolitho could not see a way out of this downward spiral for De Guarde, then what hope could there be? Neither of them trusted the lad to reform of his own accord, which meant that it was quite possible the captain would have to write an awkward letter home to De Guarde's parents. It was hard to believe that the boy could be so self destructive - did he not want to regain his rating as a Midshipman?

A nasty thought suddenly struck Leat, and with it came a sneaking suspicion. Could it be? Surely not... But he felt unsettled enough to mention it to his captain.

"Sir, I wonder whether it is just my imagination or otherwise, but have you noticed De Guarde seems to be passing the time of day with the Marines?"
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Post  Richard Bolitho Fri Jan 07, 2011 10:22 am

"Hmm." Bolitho tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Now that you mention it, I have seen him with the Marines a great deal of the time." He paused, giving Leat a slightly quizzical look. "Why do you ask?"
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Post  Edward Leat Thu Jan 20, 2011 10:33 am

Leat considered his words carefully before he answered.

"Because, sir, I was wondering whether he has lost the will to regain his rank? What if he does not imagine he may regain his rating as midshipman - is there a danger of him setting his sights on a different function? One that would not keep him as 'a common sailor'?"
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Post  Richard Bolitho Fri Jan 28, 2011 4:45 pm

"I would say there is a great danger of that, Mr. Leat. Not only has De Guarde been spending time with the Marines, but he has gone so far as to request that I consider giving him a position as a Marine. He and Mr. Cartwright both spoke with me on the matter the other day, and they were quite serious about it," Bolitho said. "Forgive me for not saying so at once, but I was not entirely sure what you were implying. Do you think it is beneath the boy to have an interest in becoming a Marine?"

In truth, Bolitho had not given a great deal of thought to the matter yet, but he had not felt it to be an unreasonable request. Would it be so terrible for De Guarde to become a Marine?

"It could be as good a chance as any for the boy to learn some discipline," he added, speaking as much to himself as to Leat.
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Post  Edward Leat Tue Feb 22, 2011 2:02 am

"Yes, sir," Leat hazarded, wondering if he was the only one who saw the potential danger. "But might not the boy see it as if he has escaped his punishment if he becomes a Marine? He would be gaining authority over the hands, even only a little as a private soldier, and he was disrated for absuing his authority."
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Post  Richard Bolitho Tue Feb 22, 2011 10:30 am

Bolitho frowned. He had not considered that. But then again, perhaps he should have. Why else would De Guarde suddenly wish to become a Marine? Was the boy really that badly warped?

"I would hope the boy would not be that conniving. But of course I cannot be sure." He sighed. "Am I a fool to have considered this request? Is it so misguided of me to think that he has simply decided to change his profession? Yes, I suppose so. If the lad has truly been so corrupted, he might well have an ulterior motive for everything."
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Post  Edward Leat Wed Feb 23, 2011 9:21 am

"It may not be, sir," Leat hurriedly ammended, knowing possibly that he was painting De Guarde in the blackest of hues imaginable. "It is a thought only, and most likely quite incorrect."

Though there was no telling how corrupt of boy of De Guarde's age may of may not be; it was a stubborn stage of life where fears, jealousies and anger quite often hid away below adolescent reticence. There was every possibility he could be suspecting too much.
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Post  Richard Bolitho Mon Mar 07, 2011 10:52 am

"But it is a valid thought, Mr. Leat. You are right in that I should be quite cautious in considering such a request. Even if the boy has no malicious ulterior motive, it is not a choice which should be made lightly."

Though he had been thinking that he might eventually grant De Guarde's request, Bolitho had not planned to do it any time soon. This was a matter that did need a good deal of time for all parties concerned to mull it over.
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Post  Edward Leat Tue Mar 08, 2011 9:02 am

"Quite so, sir." Leat hoped that he had not been too forward in this, but it seemed that Bolitho did not hold it against him. "And I thank you, sir; you have eased my mind where both matters are concerned."
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Post  Richard Bolitho Sun Mar 20, 2011 9:47 am

"I am pleased to hear it, Mr. Leat," Bolitho said, wishing he could say the same for himself. It would be some time before his own mind would be eased on the matter of De Guarde. "Now, is there anything else you wished to discuss with me?"
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Post  Edward Leat Tue Mar 22, 2011 3:13 am

"No, sir," Leat replied, knowing that he had already taken up much of the captain's precious time. "Thank you for seeing me."

Leat's previous captain would not have listened to such concerns, and such things could never be discussed to any effect in the wardroom - not without the wrong sort of people hearing.
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Post  Richard Bolitho Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:57 am

"Of course Mr. Leat. I am perfectly willing to listen to whatever concerns you may have. But if you have nothing further to discuss, then you may be dismissed."
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Post  Edward Leat Sat Mar 26, 2011 8:09 am

The lieutenant stood, bracing up automatically as Bolitho dismissed him.

"Aye, sir. Good afternoon, sir."

Then he turned on his heel, exiting the cabin and heading back down towards the wardroom.
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